Intimacy is a powerful thing and can bond a couple strongly. This four-part series covers the following aspects of intimacy:
Part 1: The 3 Ss of Relationship Intimacy
Part 2: How to assess the level of intimacy in your relationship
Part 3: Five Strategies to Increase Intimacy in Your Relationship
Part 4: What about the Sex Thing?
What is intimacy? In my book, The Porsha Principles, I refer to a mythical couple, Pam and Marcus. Let’s take a look at an event that led to deepening intimacy for them.
Early in their relationship, Pam and Marcus found themselves being deeply engaged in conversations concerning just about anything and everything.
Marcus was intrigued to hear stories about how Pam put herself through grad school after her parents lost their business during a recession. He laughed with her as she described going through nearly a year on baked beans and Ramen noodles.
When he asked her about how it felt to be such a strong and resilient woman, she actually had to think about it because no man had ever seen her that way. She had never really let anyone see the sacrifices and hurts that it took to achieve success.
He also asked her about what kept her so driven. It hadn’t occurred to her before, but deep inside she didn’t want to let her parents down. Thinking about it made her eyes well up with tears.
Marcus reached out and embraced her. He told her that it must have been so hard for her and that she should be so proud of herself for her success.
When she looked back on it a year later, she realized it was in that moment that she began to feel closer to him, and that was the start of deeper and more intimate conversations to come.
This story demonstrates the keys to developing deeper levels of intimacy in a relationship, something I call, the three Ss of intimacy.
Sharing your deepest thoughts and feelings, especially when it is hard to do (Vulnerability)
Seeking to know your partner in a deeper, real way by asking questions (Curiosity)
Supporting your partner emotionally in their sharing without judging, dismissing, or diminishing their experience (Acceptance)